To whom it may concern,
We made the decision to go back through Taylor’s blog posts to delete all references to the video game’s name. We hope that this will ensure that no one will suffer as she did. Thank you all for your support during these difficult times.
I don’t know what happened. I fall asleep one night and then I wake up, it’s one week later, my shoes are covered in mud, and I have my parents yelling at me asking me where the hell I was. I don’t remember anything. When did it even rain? My parents are so upset with me right now. They took everything from me, my television, my phone, everything. I think they’re one misstep away from locking me up in my room until they can get a psychiatrist out here. I swear I’m telling the truth, I didn’t go anywhere. If they won’t believe me who will?
Everything I’ve tried to eat I’ve thrown back up. All I hear when people talk are faint murmurs. I can’t focus. I find that during the day my thoughts constantly wander to my closet. My nights are worse. Hours pass as I stare into the darkness. My eyes searching, picturing what lies behind the large wooden door.
I put it, enclosed in a box, on a shelf inside my closet. Just because I can’t get rid of it doesn’t mean I have to look at it. Maybe I can finally get some sleep now.
I threw it all away. I put it into my trash can outside but when I got back upstairs, it was sitting there on my bed. I threw it out my window to the streets and it was back on my bed. I covered it in gasoline and burned the thing, and when I went upstairs it was sitting on top of a pile of ashes on my bed. Should I be scared? I am.
I can’t think about anything else but [REDACTED]. When I’m at school, when I’m home, it’s even in my dreams.
Today I got into a huge argument with my mom. She found out that I am on scholastic probation. I will not graduate unless I pass my finals and have perfect attendance until the end of term. I don’t think school is that important anymore. She disagreed. I know she is just worried about me, afraid that I am throwing my life away. We normally settle our disputes calmly, but I just got so angry. I have never spoken such vile words in my life, especially not to my mother. I just couldn’t control my temper, I couldn’t restrain myself. I felt my cheeks burn fiery hot with rage. Too much rage. I promised her I would pick up the broken glass.
I know I have a mountain of homework to do, I know I haven’t been studying at all, but all I want to do right now is play [REDACTED]. Even if I started right now there’s no way I’d finish all my homework in time. So what’s the point? I’ll just play now and ask for an extension, it’s not like they won’t give it to their star student.
“Are you okay?” – a three worded phrase I never want to hear again. It was as if I spent my whole school day on trial. Questions, questions, questions. Why did I miss class yesterday? Why did I make a C on my biology test? Why am I so irritable?…Why AM I so irritable today? That is beside the point. My cool-headed disposition was bound to break one day. I am not sure why, but when that boy cut me in line in the cafeteria I blew up. I made a scene, which I admit, is so unlike me. But why did I ruin both my perfect attendance record and straight A average of three years? I guess because I didn’t feel like making the effort. Everyone has a bad day right?